


Hallelujah (Fred Weasley x Reader one shot)

by NurseJoyIRL



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Post-Battle of Hogwarts, Sad and Happy, Talking To Dead People
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:33:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28077768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NurseJoyIRL/pseuds/NurseJoyIRL
Summary: Your name is Andromeda (Annie) Karkaroff. It’s 6 months after the battle of Hogwarts and Fred’s death. Fred had been your lover and boyfriend for three years at the time of his death, and you’ve been grieving his loss heavily. This one-shot is inspired by Hallelujah, Rufus Wainwright’s cover and some lyrics from Car Seat Headrest songs. This is my first time attempting to write fanfic so please give constructive feedback!! I’m thinking about writing more on this topic if people are interested!CW: brief mentions of s**cide
Relationships: Fred Weasley/Reader, Fred Weasley/You
Kudos: 9





	Hallelujah (Fred Weasley x Reader one shot)

**Author's Note:**

> This song played in the background on repeat while I wrote this snippet. 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBo-n_17XU0

You shift in your sleep. It was rare that sleep found you these days, as grief usually took its place. Your eyes open, staring at the ceiling. They watch the fan run in circles for as long as they can, trying to count the number of rotations that pass, as you desperately try to take your mind off what plagues it. 

Footsteps fall at the foot of your bed. A jolt of panic runs through you as your eyes flicker downward, your body frozen, not daring to move. 

“What are you doing here, Fred?” the whisper escaping your lips hardly giving away the pounding in your chest. 

Fred’s smile was the same in death as it was in life. He briefly raised his eyebrows, peering through those mischievous brown eyes, hands in relaxed into his front pockets. He rocked back and forth between his toes and his heels. Moonlight danced across his skin. He’d never been more beautiful. And he’d never seemed more tragically real. 

You slowly sit up in bed, exposing your shoulders and chest, your breasts barely covered by a satin nightgown. Your lips press together tightly, and a wave of anguish swells in your chest. Your breath hitches on the inhale. “Fred?” Your voice croaks, betraying the impending tears in your eyes. 

Fred chuckles, walking towards your side of the bed. “Say it again, love, you know how it gets me going.” He sits down, his weight creating a dip in the mattress that inadvertently moves you closer to him. 

“Fred, is that really you? Or is this all in my head?” You ask in a desperate whisper. 

“Annie,” Fred’s eyes meet yours. “Just because it’s happening in your head doesn’t mean it’s any less real.”

A long silence passes between the two lovers. 

Fred’s face turns towards the window. “I miss you, Annie.”

A sob escapes your throat. “Freddie-“ you grab his hand, “Freddie- I- I don’t know what I’m doing here without you. I’m living in hell.” Tears come without hesitation now. The salty taste in your mouth has become too familiar with you. “There’s so much pain within me, and I don’t know what to do with it. I don’t think I’ll ever get better.” You shake your head, using the soft sheet to wipe your face, quickly inhaling some snot. “I thought we’d be together forever, Freddie.”

“We will be together forever,” Freddie turns away from the window, meeting your eyes. A breeze flows through your open window, tousling his fiery hair. “If only in dreams, in your heart, in your memories.” A crooked smile on his lips. A twinkle in his eye. “Death and time don’t make our love any less real.” A beat. “After the Battle…I had plans. To ask you to marry me. I’d been thinking about it for months.” His thumb runs over the back of your hand before letting go, reaching into his coat pocket. He pulls out a box of dusty purple velvet. Your eyes drill holes into it. Fred’s slender fingers pop it open, revealing a pear-shaped ring of Morganite set on a simple gold band. 

“What is-“ you begin, but Fred cuts you off. 

“I did a lot of research. There’s a phrase they say in muggle weddings, ’til death do us part.’ he shakes his head with a scoff. 

You say nothing. Your eyebrows narrow, gaze fixed on the ring. 

“I hate that saying. Nothing, not even death himself, could stop me from loving you, sweet Ann,” he chuckles in disbelief. “You’re my soulmate. Here I am, in death, and my soul cannot tear itself from you.” Fred’s voice breaks as he looks at the ring, a tear forming in his eye. “I’ve come here every night to watch you sleep. Hell, what I wouldn’t give to join you under those covers, as a real man.” He sniffles. “A man with a warm body. Who can marry you, and care for you, and give you children, and grow old with you and die with you.” 

His eyes meet yours once again. You sit up on your knees and lean forward, reaching out your hands to grab each side of his face. “I want that too, Freddie,” you cry in a volume that threatens to awaken your mother next door. His right hand meets yours that caresses his face. “There’s this…nothingness inside of me. This vast expanse of grief where you used to exist. It’s a massive black hole, it’s swallowing me alive, Fred!” You shake your head. “I don’t know how much longer I can take it here.”

Fred grabs your wrists with his large hands. “You have to forgive yourself, Annie. You have to move on.”

“And how am I supposed to do that?” You spit. “When I go to this same room every night, without you. And sleep in the same bed every night, the same fucking bed, with the tear in the duvet and the red stripes,” Your gaze turns to the window, “And that moonlight, it makes me feel like I’m dying. Do you know how many nights I’ve drowned here? How many times have I drowned?” Your voice grows to a desperate cry. 

Fred presses his forehead to yours. You inhale his scent and are immediately taken back to the years of memories you made together, from the very first kiss to the very last laugh. It’s all too familiar. Fred’s lips kiss your wet cheek. “I would let myself die and be reborn a thousand times over if it meant I might be with you again,” you breathe. 

“But you can’t.” He says tersely, biting back his sadness. It’s not what you want to hear. He tries to pull away, but you grip his wrists. 

“Please, Freddie-“ 

“I’ll always be with you, love. As long as I wander in this godforsaken afterlife, my heart will be set on you. But I can’t move on until I know you have, too.”

“I don’t want to move on, Fred. I can’t do that! You know I can’t! What do I have to do, kill myself?” 

“There’s a wonderful life ahead of you, sweet Ann. You’re so young.” Fred breathes. 

“So were you!” You exclaim. 

“Exactly, Ann! You have what I never will. A life to do as you please. I’m forever stuck in death, a timeless shell of who I used to be, but you have years to experience this life, this…short, fleeting human life.” Fred kisses your hands. You shake your head, refusing to accept his words. 

“No, Freddie. Don’t you understand? I will never have a life without you in it. I refuse. It can’t be that way. There’s no point in me going on without you, feeling this way-“

“You HAVE to, Annie.” His voice is stern. He frees his wrists from your grasp and turns away from you. 

“Please, don’t do this Fred. Please.”

Fred stands up from the bed. “You’ve loved before me. You can do it after me. There’s someone out there waiting for you, someone who understands, someone who can give you what I can’t.” 

“I DON’T WANT THEM!” You roar. You jump out of bed, running towards him, forcing him to turn to you. “I want YOU, Fred. Only YOU! That’s what true love is, Freddie. There’s only one.” 

Fred shakes his head. “See that’s where you’re wrong, my love.” His voice softens. He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. You soften at his touch, leaning into his hand, wishing the moment would last forever. He pulls you into an embrace. Your arms grip his waist, resolving to never let go. There’s so many tears coming from your eyes that you can’t see at all. 

“You might have been the only one for me, Andromeda Karkaroff. You, beautiful, sweet, courageous thing.” He kisses the top of your head with a sob, his tears landing on your scalp. “But I know, I know, that I am not the only one for you.”

His words don’t even register with you. “I love you, Fred. I love you, I love you, I love you,” you declare. 

He strokes his hand down your hair one last time, his fingers twirling the ends around themselves. “And you know I love you too, Annie. I always, always will.”

And then he’s gone. Your arms go limp around nothing. You frantically glance around the room, desperately looking for him, but it’s as you feared- he is as gone now as he ever was. 

But then your eyes land on your bed, where sits a small box with an impossibly real ring, reflecting the moonlight in perfect sparkles. 

You sit down on the bed, taking the box in your hand. You slide the ring out, carefully examining it, rolling it between your fingers. Finally, you place it on your left ring finger. It’s a perfect fit. It’s real. He had been real. 

You remain fixated on the ring and decide you’ll never take it off. You might live the rest of this life against your will, but you would never stop loving Fred.


End file.
